Sksksk and-I-oopers and welcome to another week of Blue Balls! Good moods abound as NYCFC takes 7 from a shockingly short week, including an unexpected dissection of the markiest men since Biz or the Funky Bunch, and an examination of a depleted Pigeons side against Toronto. Plus: reviews of our lesser-celebrated Blue Ballers in the face of onslaught, a discussion of dive culture, and for some reason, the XFL. Do some pushups and sing the anthem — you’ve got Blue Balls.
Ciao, Blue Ballers, and welcome to a mid-week roundup of Blue action in the midst of our three-game seven-day shitshow. Jake and Trey reflect on a messy and maddening New England match, with three points borne on the back of the unexpectedly clutch Jesus Medina. We break down exactly why that rules and why it shouldn’t change what you expect from our most controversial DP. Plus, Parks in the back, Sweat all over, and Maxi making the hard calls. Then, USMNT chats and a lightning-quick Toronto and San Jose preview. Release the beast - you’ve got Blue Balls.
Alt. title: The Un-Heberable Shite-ness of Being (Ruled Out For The Rest Of Regular Season Play).
Bienvenidos, Blue Ballerinos, to another rapturous pod week of all things Blue. Jake and Trey jump back in time to discuss the highly heartening victory over a flagging Red Bulls at home, then move on to a decisive road win over the messy Vancouver. But the coming weeks pose more threats, including a freshly battered Heber, a slew of international call-ups, and three teams in seven days that we could certainly have found in worse form than they are. Plus: USMNT camp preview, Dome-talk, some breaking waves down at Hot Stove Cove, and the talking points theme song. Take a few breaths - you’ve got Blue Balls.
Ahoy-hoy Blue Ballers and thanks for tuning in to yet another pod talk blitz from your favorite blue balls boys. Jake is back this week and after a bit of Rec League Recap it’s off to the races dissecting the hotly debated match against Columbus Crew midweek - and what it means for a Red Bulls rivalry week rendezvous this weekend. Plus more Epstein talk, a little Barstool intrigue, and other talking points galore. Set your phasers to “smang” - you’ve got Blue Balls.
Come one come ball young blue ballerinos, and welcome back to continued disappointment on the field and in your ear holes! Jake is gone so the homie and pod lawyer Steve fills in to be barraged by Houston and Atlanta recaps, sanctimonious yelling at fans, and conspiracy theories a plenty. Finally, if we don't beat Cincinnati we riot. Like Ghislaine Maxwell thinking she could escape persecution, you've got Blue Balls
Glory be, Blue Ballers, and welcome to another week of soccer pod talk. Straight from a 3-1 loss in god’s own Salt Lake City, NYCFC is hurting and rattling the nerves of its diehards — and Jake and Trey are here to break it down with no drama and all alacrity. Then: Jill Ellis’ replacement, the melee action defining this season’s Premier League openers, and a little mens’ prospectus discussion. And after: Houston & Atlanta on the horizon. Take off your magic undies — you’ve got Blue Balls.
Salutations, blue ballers. This week, Trey and Jake recap a commanding 3-1 victory over a limping Kansas City, including some encouraging tactical changes and a diverse offensive strategy; we do our best to unpack with parTICular emphasis on the team goal play style that lead to NYCFC's first goal. Plus, as a bonus, a little drunk reflection on the barn-burner against Colorado. Then: pin talk, win talk, spin talk, and a slapdash RSL preview. Don't wake the homeless guy sleeping on the downtown Hot Car -- he's got Blue Balls.
Happy hump day, Blue Ballers, and welcome to another episode of teeth gnashing and glass smashing NYCFC coverage. Sturm und drang to spare this week as Trey and Jake review an infuriating Red Bulls derby day that, but for an embarrassed ref and a league with an abysmal record of player defense, could have turned out quite different. Then a pivot to the soccer, with heavy analysis of the return of Sean John, the Mata-Sweat problem, and the press-counterpress action on the field. THEN: a casual pre-cap of NYCFC's date with its once-prodigal son, Jonathan Lewis -- and the unpredictable Colorado Rapids. Don't forget to stretch; the air in Colorado is thinner, and after all you've got Blue Balls.
Howdy blue pardners, and welcome to another week of Blue Balls. Ya boiz are in rare form with no shortage of points to talk in the final fully stuffed week of the Summer of Soccer, in which we saw the end, either literal or spiritual, of no fewer than four major cups. Jake and Trey talk NYCFC's ignominious bounce out of their best-ever Open Cup run, as well as some recap energy for Seattle and Portland matches last week. Then, breakdowns of the USMNT (oof!!) and USWNT (crying waterfalls emoji) in two very different tournament finals. Finally, a brief and handwringing derby precap. You can manspread on the train to Harrison - after all, you've got Blue Balls.
The Summer Of Soccer is in full swing and Trey and Jake receive it with open arms — first a breakdown of the highly educational 4-2 home victory over Philadelphia, including breakdown analysis of Alex Ring, Maxi Moralez, clutch no. 2 keeper Brad Stuver, fan favorite Keaton Parks, and of course the man of the week Taty Castellanos in arguably his most encouraging outing in the blues this year. After that, we talk Hawaiian shirts (with a cameo from Section 234 Legend Chris Choi!), spill the tea on the USWNT’s England victory, spill some tears for the state of the men’s game, and close it out with a pre-cascadian precap of Seattle and Portland.