Bing bong, doors closing on this week’s episode of Blue Balls! Jake and Trey are back on their Sean John Jane, breaking down either a hard-won clean-sheet draw or a total fucking one-point catastrophe, depending on who you ask. We examine the empty offense and talk about the experiments Dome might bring to bear in the coming weeks. We precap! We recap! We DE-cap! Truly what more could you ask for. Plus: the USWNT sues US Soccer, and Claudio Reyna tickles the Blue Balls with a repurposing of the same old stale ass stadium talk we’ve heard. Stretch before you plug in - you’ve got Blue Balls.
Shake and bake, blue ballers. We’re back with the only extant nycfc podcast, breaking down the Pigeons’ sputtering start to their historic inaugural 5th season. Jake and Trey talk first outings for Treats & Keats, as well as the emergence of Ofori as a potential key 2019 factor and the arrival of a Jon Lewis who may even, can you believe it, get actual meaningful minutes on the field this season. But the tinkering is far from over and our two intrepid cohorsts do everything they can to get into the dome of Domé.
Then: nazis and she believes, Garber and Ellis, and some light shitposting. Plus a lump-in-the-throat preview of DC’s upcoming visit to Yankee Stadium. Lock the bathroom door behind you — you’ve got Blue Balls.
Welcome, blue-balls-to-the-wallers, to the SEASON FIVE PREMIERE that nobody saw coming. That's right, despite all odds and massive popular resistance, Blue Balls is back for another barely-professional flirtation with serious soccer journalism in the guise of dick jokes. Jake and Trey kick the season off, as they always do, with a hard-hitting round of OVER/UNDER. Follow along with your own over/under stats sheet this season and tweet us your results at the end to win absolutely nothing.
PLUS: in-depth analysis of the bearish predictions market for NYCFC's fifth season on the field, a breakdown of offseason action and acquisitions, and some senseless starting eleven chatter. Your blue ballers for life will be with you every step of the way this Season Five - starting NOW. Don't stand up too fast: you've got Blue Balls.
Awaken from your slumber Blue Balligans, and jump on in to this mini-ep season fore(pointfive)play with the analytic critic Dummy Run. Trey holds his iphone to the mic to get Dummy's thoughts on statistical analysis in footy, why Dome is better than you think, a look ahead to the boys in blue, and introduces his new NYCFC blog The Outfield.
We'll be back this week (yes this week!) with all things Blue Balls, but until then be sure to read up at theoutfield.org as well as following @thedummyrun and @outfieldnycfc on twitter.
Did ya miss us you big lovable buffoons? Now you've got Blue Balls.
Happy New Year Blue Ball Drop-ers, and thanks for coming back to our last episode of season four. We begin the year by looking back, checking in on our world famous pre-season segment over/under and a new game that reveals where the heroes of NYCFC's historic first season are now. Of course, we set our resolutions for the future, chat Nazi's for the umpteenth, and boring MLS twitter. As our season ends our thanks go out to the team for continuing to host our meager podcast on game days, the players who have served the team well, our pubs for the companionship, the podluminatti, and most of all YOU for sticking around with us for four years. See you all in a few weeks for the preseason and have a happy 2019 blue ballers and ballerinas!
Greetings and warm wishes in the cold winter of our despair, Blue Ballers. At the conclusion of our Senior Year Campaign, for yet another season, our playoff hopes have been ignominiously dashed. Hold off on season retrospectives - we’ve got plenty of that coming down the pipeline - for now we want to talk about Atlanta, Dome, Villa, Berhalter and something the stans refer to as “Preath.” It’s a messy little monster of a show for the messy little monster that was the 2018 Pigeons, now mercilessly returned to their nests. Plus: a little nazi talk, a little inside podluminati baseball, and the Talking Points Theme Song. Slip on your loosest long johns - you’ve got Blue Balls.
Abandon Hope, All Ye Who Enter Here, Blue Ballers, and welcome to another week's miserable episode. The both sudden and inexorable death march to the playoffs is all but concluded after a three week break with a humiliating loss to hot-hot-hot DC United. It would be convenient to blame this match on the entirely different rules of physics inside the Wayne Rooniverse but instead Trey and Jake take another crack at unpacking our pale-looking Blues and discuss whether DomeOut has arrived a little too soon.
Then: Is Villa in or out? Who saved the Columbus Crew? And of course, everyone's favorite elephant in the stands - Nazis. Will the front office's policy of Don't Ask Don't Tell provide the results they're expecting? We suggest: perhaps not! Call your rep and tell them NAZIS OUT OF YANKEE STADIUM - they're giving you Blue Balls.
Spooky season to you our Boooooo-ballers, and welcome back from our scary layoff. Jake and Trey sink their fangs in and take a spooky peek into the USA men and women, reviewing a bloody Concacaf Women's championship and the creepy cadaver that remains of the USA men. Then, we try not to get too grim-reaper when analyzing what has gone wrong for the boys in blue the past two months and carve into the snack-o-lantern that is Wayne Rooney's jump start DC United. That bloodcurdling scream in old man Stevens' rickety house? Just Blue Balls.
Grim tidings, Blue Ballers! Jake and Trey are back and apoplectic re: the state of NYCFC. With just two points out of a possible fifteen in the last five matches, are these the boys in blue we thought we knew? We break down blame among the players, in the front office, and of course under the new Gaffer. A man-by-man unpacking of DC's humiliating draw as well as constant reference to the muddy waters NYCFC has been treading for the last month. Blame it on the injuries, blame it on the schedule, but at the end of the day you gotta blame it on something fixable if you want to see a future forward.
Part 1 of 2 - we're saving pre-cap and national talk till next week! Stay woke and don't choke - you've got Blue Balls.
Ahoy-hoy Blue Ballers and welcome back for another installment of the only NYCFC podcast, period! Jake and Trey are back to talk about the near-misses of the Canadian carnival of competitions our Boys in Blue just wrapped. What happened in Toronto? What happened to Vancouver? What is happening to our defense and why are we loaning out Saad Abdul-Salaam just at a moment when a little defensive depth wouldn't be unwelcome?? All these and more are talked about with just the hint of detail and insight.
Then: the first weekend of Premier League action, some transfer mumbles, and the usual judgment-free jawing until a frenzied Philadelphia precap and a wink at the third of three Hudson River Rivalries to come. Measure twice & cut once - you've got Blue Balls.