Blue Balls NYCFC

Episode 11: S12E11: Just Like A Perea, I’ll Take You There

Blue Balls NYCFC — Sun, 17 May 2026 03:14:17 +0000

Short one this week, blue ballers. Your fine fellows chat three lossless after seven winless and so much more, including a 1-1 draw in Jersey, the misery of a messed-up Maxi, halves that made us whole, and much more. Make sure to pack your neck pillow and your special cushion — you’ve got Blue Balls.

Episode 10: S12E10: Keaton Ain’t Eatin’

Blue Balls NYCFC — Thu, 07 May 2026 15:24:08 +0000

Yer charming chuds chat seven winless matches and the balm in gilead we found in Harrison, New Jersey; the perpetually orphaned Nico, Australian ankles, misplaced Maxi, and more — plus a piteous precap of our date with the Crew and some teeth gritting and table setting for the final pre-cup weeks. Check the frozen foods aisle — you’ve got Blue Balls.

Episode 9: S12E9: Prince UwUsu notices ur goal

Blue Balls NYCFC — Mon, 27 Apr 2026 01:13:07 +0000

Your soccer sots spill tea on NYCFC's one point out of six in the last two matches and the miserable turn a once-promising season has taken. We chat Farnos' first-time first-team start, the baleful boys at the back line, the ghost of Martinez, judgments on Jansen, and much more. Plus: will NYCFC cost Matt Freese his USMNT glory? And: can we wrench some momentum from an equally-miserable Red Bulls at the Open Cup? Check your fanny pack at the sample sale security; you've got Blue Balls.

Episode 8: S12E8: Good, Average, Poor Things

Blue Balls NYCFC — Mon, 20 Apr 2026 12:48:46 +0000

Yer cheeky chappies chat every hair-pulling minute of NYCFC’s 1-2 loss to a charmless Charlotte FC. We talk a Nico nipped in the bud, a baffled back line, a faithless front, and so much more. Plus: Pascal’s pugilism in the press. And: a warning about the wages of Cin. Make sure you keep your phone in your back pocket — you’ve got Blue Balls.

Episode 7: S12E7: A-Westchestered Development

Blue Balls NYCFC — Thu, 16 Apr 2026 16:15:37 +0000

Yer fine fellas chat two matches, one chummy and one glummy, including this week's Talles talk, end-to-end entropy, miserably missing Martins, The Return of the Mala-King, Goose on the loose upstate, and much more. Plus: more World Cup handwringing, a Crocker of Shit, missing managers in Miami, and Chicago chat. And: a charming Charlotte precap ahead of Saturday's match. Call the pope and apologize: tell him you've got Blue Balls.

Episode 6: S12E6: DTF (Defense Too Flaky) St Louis

Blue Balls NYCFC — Wed, 08 Apr 2026 12:00:28 +0000

Yer chummy chuds chew cud on: stoppage time disappointments and whether Wolf’s chomping on the competition; thin back lines and compressed chances; plus salary caps and NYCFC raps, and Cascadian / Scarsdalian precaps. Open your fu*ckin podcast app, you crazy bastards: you’ve got Blue Balls!

Episode 5: S12E5: When Will My Deflections Show // Who I Am Offside

Blue Balls NYCFC — Thu, 02 Apr 2026 01:59:02 +0000

Fellas flappin gums on Leo delivering the first L of the season, VARguments, Nico's suave set pieces, and much more. Plus: Italian anguish, American anxiety, and losing the best of us. And finally a short & sweet St. Lou previou. You think that's underwear you're wearing? April Fools: you've got Blue Balls.

Episode 4: S12E4: Colo Doodie: Magn-ern Warfare

Blue Balls NYCFC — Thu, 19 Mar 2026 01:25:22 +0000

Chum chat on a 3-1 streak extender, Nic O'Fernandez, the MagNine Opus, toothless Wolf, press like garlic, and much more. plus: multi-use stadia arcadia, men on the March, Gotham on the 7 train, and more. And finally: an idkcap for an unusually messi Miami. Put that bracket down — you’ve got Blue Balls.

Episode 3: S12E3: Five-Zerough Footie

Blue Balls NYCFC — Tue, 10 Mar 2026 02:36:38 +0000

Da guys dig in to a veritable feast of blue vibes this week to chat a 5-0 victory over Orlando, NYCFC's es-Crep-e hatch, time travelin' Maxi, the Ojeda tornada', five-star service, redistricting Parks up to the line, and more. Plus: Tally up another Magnochat, and: a Colorado team making a rapids ascent. Don't sprint outside for the 65 degree weather: you've got Blue Balls.

Episode 2: S12E2: Penso Mightier Than The sVARd

Blue Balls NYCFC — Fri, 06 Mar 2026 03:53:16 +0000

The fellas talk giving 100% on a trip down I-95, Ojeda foreva, the Year of Graygical Thinking, tactical overloads and practical roads, Penso's pensive penalty process, playing the Sims until we're Dun, what we'd like to Seymour of, and as always, an Orlando precap that will have you roaring, and we ain't lion. Don't strain yourself shoveling snow for a city payday — you've got Blue Balls.

Episode 1: S12E1: I Galax-see'd It But I Don't Believe It

Blue Balls NYCFC — Wed, 25 Feb 2026 14:58:55 +0000

Shorter blurbs this year, Blue Ballers. Yer mans talk experiments, prayer circles and horseshoes, winning wing winks, penalties and punishments, PRO posture, messi mishigas, and of course, phinish with a Philly precap. Bundle up, blizzardinos: you've got Blue Balls.

Episode 37: S11.5E4: Four Leaf ClOVERs UNDERfoot

Blue Balls NYCFC — Thu, 19 Feb 2026 02:23:21 +0000

Did you miss us, Blue Ballers? Of course not — you never had the chance to! Watch Club is over and Jake & Trey are laser-focused on the footy, so all you fairweather listeners can come out of the woodwork. And bring your golf pencils and moleskines with you, because our time-honored tradition returns. That's right, it's the OVER/UNDER season precap! Jake & Trey set lines and meld minds as we try to reason out what the fuck Pascal's Phalanx will bring us this year. We chat Nico, Magno, Maxi, Freese, KPs, World C's, and so much more. AND: What did Trey Really think of Sinners? Plus: a cheeky little precap of a LA Galaxy trying desperately to round the corner. It's only a few days after valentine's, and look at you: you've got Blue Balls.

Episode 36: S11.5E3: Watch Club 3 - Now This Is Pod: Racing!

Blue Balls NYCFC — Fri, 13 Feb 2026 13:52:52 +0000

Ahoyhoy Blue Ballers, another episode here where the boys in blue are inching closer to the real stuff. Jake and Trey break down the two NYCFC preseason friendlies for the first televised soccer of the year. Then, a circling back (yes, again) to the Moussa Sylla failed transfer saga and where the club goes from here. Plus: The armchair analyst is back to the armchair, and the new kit for 2026. Finally, for the last installment of Watch Club 2026 Preseason Edition - F1! Brad Pitt! Tropes! More Tropes! Vroom Vroom! Put on those hard tires, you've got Blue Balls.

Episode 35: S11.5E2: Watch Club 2 - Getting Sylla With It

Blue Balls NYCFC — Tue, 03 Feb 2026 02:54:45 +0000

Jake and Trey are back at the tail end of silly season, talking practical signings and practical kung fu! Your boys in blue talk australian imports, strikers not striking (we recorded before the Sylla deal fell through but we handled it sweeties no worries), and the apparent MagnoNandez Do-Si-Do. PLUS: football! The other kind! AND: as promised, Jake & Trey move one country east to review Steven Chow's international cartoon-fu proof of concept SHAOLIN SOCCER. Take a deep breath and seek inner peace: you've got Blue Balls!

Episode 34: S11.5E1: Watch Club 1 - Hostile Resellers & Roster Unsellables

Blue Balls NYCFC — Thu, 15 Jan 2026 20:38:42 +0000

It's the off-season and we promised you we'd get up to some shenanigans; Jake and Trey break down every sizzling inch of the hot stove and the NYCFCeefsteaks being seared on it! We talk merging Magno, a homegrown unceremoniously Haaked off, the baby Blues leaving and the baby Blues returning, and much more. THEN: Jake and Trey watch their LEDs turn red and their easy money get harder as they review and discuss Kiyoshi Kurosawa's 2024 psychological shooter "Cloud". Watch the movie on the Criterion Channel before listening to double your pleasure, double your fun! Put down that limited edition idol figurine — you've got Blue Balls!

Episode 33: S11E32: PART 2 - GrOVER Cleveland UNDERperformed electorally

Blue Balls NYCFC — Wed, 17 Dec 2025 15:17:11 +0000

It's over/under time, the MOST wonderful time of the year! Break out your scorecards and work through the season with us. Where did we go wrong? Where did we go right? And where did we go home? But before that, Jake & Trey have more to say about sporting directors, signed and unsigned contracts, and the future of New York City FC. Plus a fond farewell from the most fun season in years. Thank you to everyone who listens and double-thanks if you ever wrote a review or dropped a dollar in the tip jar. We'll see you in 2026! *Blue Balled Acquaintance Be Forgot...*

Episode 32: S11E32: PART 1 - Two Worlds, One Cup

Blue Balls NYCFC — Mon, 15 Dec 2025 14:13:29 +0000

It's the season wrap-up, Blue Ballers! Jake & Trey review the eastern conference final flame-out against MLS' Miami monster before they similarly routed a top-shelf Vancouver to take the cup. But there's plenty else to talk about: World Cup draws and World Cup prices, broadcast rights and wrongs, and MLS joining the big kids table with a fall-to-spring schedule. And coming soon in part 2: Santa's on his sleigh with a big fat bag of Over Unders! Maybe put the butt flap in front: you've got Blue Balls!

Episode 31: S11E31: DOOP, There It Isn't!

Blue Balls NYCFC — Wed, 26 Nov 2025 21:58:28 +0000

Folks, we didn't think we'd be here. But you know what they say: when men make plans, Maxi Moralez laughs. A 1-0 victory over supporters' shield superstars Philly Union has given NYCFC the keys to the eastern conference finals, and your boys in blue are breaking it all down for you. We talk why the squad's goal was #squadgoals, the magnificent Maxi, False Nine Nico, transition positions, Jansen's triumphant triage, and more. Plus a check-in with league winners Gotham FC and a precap of the Messi we have yet to clean up. Careful around that gravy — you've got Blue Balls.

Episode 30: S11E30: Tada! Nada for Zaha! Haha!

Blue Balls NYCFC — Wed, 12 Nov 2025 14:13:35 +0000

It took yer boys three goals, too many yellow cards, and one fallen soldier, but NYCFC is back in the eastern semifinals!! A white-knuckled ending to the Charlotte chronicle leaves NYCFC on top with a 3-1 victory. We chat Nico's wondergoals, performative Haaktivism, the Armchair Ignorance of Tayvon Gray, and the devastating consequences of Charlotte's concrete turf for perennial NYCFC protagonist Perea. Plus: Gotham FC's stunning upset and some potentially pessimistic predictions for Philadelphia. Eat your heart out, eastern conference: you've got Blue Balls!

Episode 29: S11E29: Juli-Off Target

Blue Balls NYCFC — Wed, 05 Nov 2025 03:47:03 +0000

Pour something to take the edge off, Blue Ballers; NYCFC's going to a third match. Jake & Trey pass the time waiting for the polls to close by recapping a frequently frustrating bout against visitors Charlotte that ended in a heartbreaking penalty shootout which broke for the away team. We talk Tayvon's Gray-test performance, load-bearing O'Neills, the gaffer's strategic struggles, and Julian's juiffed chance. Plus: a precap of what happens next and a touching eulogy for national hero and friendly fire enthusiast Richard "Dicked Down" Cheney. Careful where you point that thing - you've got Blue Balls.

Episode 28: S11E28: Alonso's Charlotte's Web - "Some Goal"

Blue Balls NYCFC — Wed, 29 Oct 2025 14:05:28 +0000

Oh Baby, Blue Ballers, it is playoff time, and boy is it ever. Jake and Trey talk the whole shebang right after the big playoff road win - Alonzo's wonder goal, Freese's tidy night, Pascal's surprising choices, and how the boys held it down. Then, a quick precap of a Zaha return to the bronx and what else might change for the pigeons in flight. Strap in jiggle the harness, you've got Blue Balls.

Episode 27: S11E27: NYC in 2, Electric Bugaboo

Blue Balls NYCFC — Sat, 25 Oct 2025 18:50:25 +0000

Blue Ballers, it's October and the pigeons are still flying. Pascal Jansen's first season ends with an ignominious 1-2 defeat against Seattle, but NYCFC still in the 5-seed and facing perennial thorns-in-our-ass Charlotte FC over 3 matches. Jake & Trey talk Seattle's red flags and blue balls, punchy postmatch patter, AI-nxiety, Trey's 2025 ballot (not that one), and of course a playoffs precap. Jays fans will have to wait — you've got Blue Balls.

Episode 26: S11E26: Parting Is Such Lee-t Sorrow

Blue Balls NYCFC — Wed, 08 Oct 2025 13:56:57 +0000

Blue ballers, the season is winding down but we're WOUND UP! Jake and Trey sit down to take some end of season lessons from the Philly phumble. Then: we talk about it and literally nothing else. David Lee, one of the true NYCFC originals, is leaving for greener pastures. What can we say about him? No, actually, what can we say? C-Lee-chet as it is, we must call it the end of an era. So take your yearbooks off your laps — you've got Blue Balls!

Episode 25: S11E25: Chiroprac-tical Adjustment

Blue Balls NYCFC — Tue, 30 Sep 2025 04:03:12 +0000

Blue ballers, you sound crazy. 0-4 loss? What Miami game? Your boys in blue are here to talk about a ROUTING in the Hudson River Rivalry which saw the New Jersey Red Bulls all but btfo of playoff contention with a 2-3 loss against the Pigeons. Jake and Trey are giddy to tap the spine of this team and examine just what turned a blowout into a blitz this week. We talk Martins mistakes and massive moments, Freese's fogs, Messi's magic, Nico's notes of nuance, Perea's parabolic arcs, and so much more. PLUS: Racial epithets? In supporter's sections? and the Mets crash out in spectacular fashion to give us a clearer run at the cup. AND: a quick n' dirty precap of Philadelphia. Time for that eleventh-inning stretch: you've got Blue Balls.

Episode 24: S11E24: Jansy v. Nancy, Zaha No Chancey

Blue Balls NYCFC — Tue, 23 Sep 2025 03:59:49 +0000

Your boys in blue are in fabulous spirits. Not only are we six points up from last time against conference titans Charlotte and Columbus, but the homie Jake returns triumphantly. We talk titillating tactics, the conditioning secrets of those beefy Dutch boys, Fernandez and Freese’s fabulous feats, and more. PLUS: Matty’s contract and Braddy’s hard tacks. AND: a messi little precap of Miami and Mahwah’s own. Don’t get the last bus seat at Port Authority — you’ve got Blue Balls.

Episode 23: S11E23: Pascal's Big BBL (w/ John Baney)

Blue Balls NYCFC — Mon, 15 Sep 2025 13:22:00 +0000

Ahoy Blue Ballers and welcome back to yet another Blue Balls Bonanza in the most wonderful (and stressful) time of the year. Trey is yet again Jake-less but not John-less as John Baney of Hudson River Blue joins the pod again to breakdown the huge Chi-town 3-1 win. The guys talk the big comeback, Nico's unique role, how Gustavo fits in, and the goalfest. Then, Alonso Mart-DP-nez? And how does this team continue the hell stretch at home against two tough challenges? Get those plane tickets for a new Brazilian Back Line, you've got Blue Balls.

Episode 22: S11E22: You Win Some, You Lonesome

Blue Balls NYCFC — Thu, 11 Sep 2025 14:26:18 +0000

Zut alors Blue Ballers, Blue Balls is back - or shall we say "Blue Ball" as Trey went solo dolo on this one to get you a quick episode before NYCFC head into the wild and wacky home stretch of the season. Trey talks a surprising DC United upset that stopped the boys in blue's momentum in its tracks, and why this team can't beat bad teams - does anyone know? Then, a recap of a convo with Huicho Barraza, some USMNT talk, and can New York play Greggcelently over the Chicago "Spider Man Meme" Fire this weekend? Hide the gravy and cheese curds, you've got Blue Balls.

Episode 21: S11E21: NYCFC Is Good At Soccer(?)

Blue Balls NYCFC — Wed, 27 Aug 2025 13:23:46 +0000

Three points against Cincy have your boys in blue BUZZING to, once again, fall for it! Is NYCFC good now? Did the summer transfer window go well, actually? Are our acquisitions firing on all cylinders? Is Jansen a shoe-in for coach of the year? Will we throw it all away this weekend to drop points to worst-in-the-league DC again? Better finish drafting that gerrymandering legislation... you've got Blue Balls!

Episode 20: S11E20: Haaktual Value

Blue Balls NYCFC — Thu, 21 Aug 2025 20:59:30 +0000

We've got friends in low places, and Nashville is one of them following a 2-1 victory here at Yankee Stadium in Curtis Sliwa's own Boogie-Down Bronx. How did the ragtag bunch of misfits on NYCFC pull it off? Jake & Trey break down the specifics for you including the miserably missing Martins, new toy Nico shoring up the back and making nonzero contributions in the front, and our enduring faith in the goalscoring of El Clinico, Alonso Martinez himself. Plus: some behind the scenes Haakchat and a Son-ny day begins in Jake's new SoCal locale. Take a dip in the mighty Pacific — you've got Blue Balls.

Episode 19: S11E19: Nico to Tico -> Hat Tricko

Blue Balls NYCFC — Thu, 31 Jul 2025 13:01:24 +0000

Another week of whiplash in Blue Ball City as Jake & Trey break down the 4-3 victory over Dallas, followed by the ignominious goalless loss against Puebla just a few days later. We chat Nico Fernandez' immediate impact, a pockmarked and panic-inducing back line, el Clinico's return to working service, and much more. Plus: surgery after surgery, and Gray's anatomy is no solution. And: a spicy little precap on a Leagues Cup group stage that seems over before it began. Leave those Sour Swimmers at Trader Joe's — you've got Blue Balls.

Episode 18: S11E18: Mad Maxi 2: The Road Warriors

Blue Balls NYCFC — Tue, 22 Jul 2025 13:17:51 +0000

Three matches, four points, two dudes, one pod — do the math, Blue Balls Nation! Jake and Trey dig into the first three chapters of our summer road odyssey. We talk Maxi's minimal contributions, young guns, lament the missing birds and wolves, Perea winging it, and so much more. Plus: the stove has gone from cold to sizzling with arrivals and departures galore. And: a quick n' dirty Dallas precap to pre-cap it all off. If you have to write a letter, try not to add a sketch — you've got Blue Balls.

Episode 17: S11E17: New Fernandez, Who Dis

Blue Balls NYCFC — Tue, 08 Jul 2025 14:02:44 +0000

Three points at home against Toronto put the wind at NYCFC's back staring at a challenging set of away games — but will they be able to handle it? And who's this mysterious stranger with a $10 million pricetag around his neck? Jake & Trey break down our domination of the Ontar-rible Toronto FC, talk Maxi woes and upcoming solutions, thick midfields and missing Martinezes. THEN: the gold cup finale and looking forward anxiously to World Cup 2026. AND: a Big Bird is paying you a visit (not the one you're thinking of)! PLUS: a little rapid-fire precap of Charlotte FC and the games beyond. Put that AC on Power Saver. you've got Blue Balls.

Episode 16: S11E16: The French Disconnection

Blue Balls NYCFC — Tue, 01 Jul 2025 12:27:30 +0000

A grim 0-1 loss to worst-in-the-east Montreal has Jake and Trey feeling weary. We gripe, groan, and grasp at straws to understand what has this team, in the words of one prophetic coach, "showing up late to the party." We touch the Third moRailez and talk about aging playmakers and the frustrating gaps left in their wake. And then? We talk about the good stuff. The Freeze-Teens Golden Showdown. The crusading USMNT. The issuance of receipts to the haters. PLUS: a sloppy little precap of Canada Part Two: Canada Returns. Check your pockets before you cross the border — you've got Blue Balls.

Episode 15: S11E15: Draggin' Balls: The Freese-a Saga

Blue Balls NYCFC — Thu, 26 Jun 2025 12:16:12 +0000

It's been a long lonely time, but we're back to give you exactly what you've been clamoring for: jetlagged europilled blue boys yapping about whatever. There's some soccer in there, we promise. Jake & Trey hit the Atlanta and Nashville games, Hannes Wolf's productive and suddenly resilient body, water strategies of the great Mediterranean states, Matt Freese's ascension and the haters who don't have anything better to do, the confusing, corrupt, and yes, decently cool Club World Cup, the dolla dolla bills y'all, and whatever else managed to slip in there. Plus: the shortest ever precap from a craptacular CF Montreal. Delete your meme trove if you're queued in line: you've got Blue Balls.

Episode 14: S11E14: Elbow Smackaroni & Threes

Blue Balls NYCFC — Tue, 27 May 2025 15:44:55 +0000

Good morning, good afternoon, good night and good luck Blue Ballers — following a massive 3-1 victory over Gregg Berhalter's visiting Chicago Fire, your Boys in Blue are starting to feel optimistic about the season again. And with NYCFC sitting at 6th in the east, we've got good reason! We cover a punchy yet pinioned Chicago, goals and goal support from Bakrar, Wolf, and Martinez, the solidity developing in the front AND the back (don't ask about the crack), and the beginning of what might be a run of lineup consistency in Pascal Jansen's NYCFC. PLUS: Gold Cup gripes, hot takes on the halfway point, and best cocktails on mediterranean beaches. Make sure to check the conversion rate: you've got Blue Balls!

Episode 6: S9E6: Five Butthole Stadium (feat. Dan Avidan!)

Blue Balls NYCFC — Wed, 19 Apr 2023 20:03:45 +0000

Your boys in blue have a treat for you this week — Jake and Trey are joined by the illustrious DAN AVIDAN (Game Grumps, Ninja Sex Party) who flexes his bonafides as an OG fan of NYNJ soccer and a stalwart NYCFC supporter from season one. Your starstruck hosts cannot help but get into full-on interview mode with Dan, but worry not: the threesome also merrily recap the triumphant 2-1 win over Nashville, hit the Talking Points, and chat anticipated changes in Dallas. Put on your loosest tuxedo pants - you’ve got very special Blue Balls.