Bon fin de semais mon blue ball-ettes, but NOT so bon for our boys in bleu. After a disappointing loss to the Canadian Alabaster Triagonals, Trey was still listless and panicky without a cohost with whom to rant. Luckily (Luka-ly) an oh so willing C.M. Brandon from MLSFemale.com (@Lukacharms) swooped in via speaker phone to help co-wallow in despair.
This week we talked the keys to bouncing back, a freezing hot stove, and jump right into the most terrifying stretch of the season by looking up toward the pack leaders: Toronto and Chicago. Sprinkled in was a festive holiday game you can play along with at home while cradling your pup and a gimlet. Don't forget to make it a double, you've got blue balls.
(Special thanks to our guest C.M. Brandon of MLSFemale.com! )
Jambo Smurfballers, your favorite red 100 emoji in podcast form is back in action and down to whiskey business this week with a special guest. Martin Bihl of Last Word on Soccer joins lone baller Trey in an especially long winded and raucous episode harkening back to the podcast's roots. From whispers to riff-raff, loquaciousness to temperance, this chapter really covers all of the bases (har har).
We begin by delving into Martin's inconspicuous and unorthodox journalistic approach, then sift through all of the glorious reasons why the boys in azul took over the sister state while reflecting on what the not-monster-energy-crew could have done right. Then, meaningless mid-season platitudes and the slowest lightning round that ever was before previewing our upcoming clash against the newest and chippy-est expansion team the Great Lakes have ever seen. And yes, like a PATH train ticket line on a Saturday afternoon, this episode is unnecessarily long. Inflate us and bring us to The Rockaways, you've got blue balls.
Lost and alone, and forever afraid bluebrodies and bluegallies.
Trey here, sans Jake (who is trapped in an interdimensional vortex via Pirlo's autobiography), and even the minute being trapped in the top of a tower with nothing but a typewriter that writes these episode descriptions is at Rehoboth Beach with his buddies for the time being. But my loneliness' constant approach has been quelled for the moment when none other than Mike from pod-powerhouse Blue City Radio came to save the day with the fruition of a MEGA-POD.
Jake magically imprinted a prelude from page 65 of his personal hell hole, then Mike and I jump into an extra long ruckus starting with Rivalry Week (tm) media day, and bouncing between our US Open Cup dismay, Supersonic redemption, and the Derby of which we're all secretly very nervous. We even hit Stertzer-ghazi and a fun NBA Draft fact as well. Strap-in, hang tight, and let loose; you've got Blue Balls.
(EXTRA BIG THANKS to the sui generis Mike from Blue City Radio, check them out, and stay tuned in the fyutch for more CityPGL)
Habari, blue ballinkas, and welcome to another week of your favorite NSFW flawed-cast. A fabulous and dramatic result has your boys in top form - plus, the addition of Twitter-Verified Gaby Fucking Kirschner should put a smile on any dedicated blue baller's face.
After a spirited recap of a Philly game she didn't watch, Gaby joins us in earnest to preview the first Hudson River Derby of the season - a Lamar Hunt Open Cup jaunt to Harrison that nobody wants to see happen. We talk about Red Bull woes and Marsch-holes, as well as the ever-increasing depth challenges our team will be reckoning with after the break. We hit some ambiguous talking points, play some ambiguous Senseless Starting XI, and make some unambiguous jokes about animal genitals. Then, a Sounders precap - and a sudden tragedy ensures that Blue Balls may never be the same. After all, what good are your Red Members when you've got Blue Balls?
Buonaserra, blue ballers. Welcome back to another week of nycfc babble. A disappointing week gives us 1 point in 2 games, and Jake and Trey are revved up and ready to break down what happened. Is Alex Callens overrated? Did Patrick Vieira mismanage a one goal lead?
Then: John Lewis, Andrea Pirlo, Yangel Herrera, and a brand new Ring has been forged. Then: Philly in Yankee Stadium this weekend. Spread in the sunshine, amigos - you’ve got Blue Balls.
Ni hao, blue ballers. Thanks for joining us for another week of pod-rapture, especially on the celebratory atmosphere last weekend's BIG BIG MATCHUP against expansion rivals Orlando City.
But before we get ahead of ourselves, Trey and Jake stay humble by recapping an EMBARRASSING 2-1 loss to Mike Petke's crippled RSL team, featuring a first-ever NYCFC goal from our USL sidepiece, Sean "Ugo" Okoli. We run down the culprits and ask the hard questions - namely, will we ever see Freddie Brilliant get starting minutes again? Then it's on to Florida where we knocked Jason Kreis' purple people down a peg, ending their unbeaten-at-home streak and recovering some momentum just in time for an upcoming match against Atlanta on THEIR home turf. Plus: open cup, manners in management, and rehashed points from @CityPGL. Take your coat off and stay awhile - you've got Blue Balls.
Welcome back, blue ballers! Half the balls for half the downtime! You might even call this podcast a mono-ball. I wouldn't, because that's gross. But what do I know, I'm an enslaved halfling gnome who was taught how to type by a wizard.
Trey and Jake do a sloppy-ass rush job to unpack a hard-fought draw against FC Dallas, The Young Talented Team That Nobody Will Shut Up About. Trey explains why Tommy McNamara is still great even though he isn't much of a defensive mid, and Jake accepts that Maxi Moralez deserves as much love as he's gotten as more. And: is Ben Sweat a liability? (Answer: maybe). Then, a crackling round of "Guess Who's Mormon" and a respectful assessment of a Salt Lake team under Mike Petke that looks DOA. Get your inseam adjusted - you've got Blue Balls.
Alors, blue ballers extraordinaire! Welcome to this week's Blue Balls. A bit of a truncated ep this week but therefore it's JAM-PACKED with info, stats, and dick jokes! And being that I am the slave gremlin atop a tower who writes the show descrips, locked in a 3x5 cage kept atop a tower, I know a thing or two about jam-packed.
We break down the merciless and assassin-like unmanning of Atlanta United's high-press heavy team to pull away a 3-1 victory. Trey and Jake pick the Alex Ring of the Match, chat accidental goals, and try not to get too giddy about the Team That We're Becoming. Then: Pirlo Party Pundit Policing, Part P-two: "ptoo!" and a little teeth gnashing about what to do when Yangel's gone. Finally, a precap of our biggest challenge since the last biggest challenge: FC Dallas' much heralded young gun goon squad. Crack a cold one open and hold it between your thighs: you've got Blue Balls.
Aloha, blue ballers! Welcome to another week of NYCFC goodness. And WHAT a good week it is, coming off of an unexpected 3-2 victory against a formidable Columbus Crew. Jake and Trey, raised from the dead, chat about the young boys who drove the truck this week - Daddy Yangkee, Jack Flash, and Sweat & Wild. Then, Trey dresses down the Pirlo Party Poopers and we preview Atlanta's arguably scariest offense in the East and hypothesize how to piece them apart in Yankee Stadium. Close your eyes and think about statistics -- you've got Blue Balls.