Freeze, freeze, thou bitter sky,
That does not bite so nigh
As benefits forgot:
Though thou the waters warp,
Thy sting is not so sharp
As friend remembered not.
-John Stertzer, probably
Anyways, we're back y'all, and we've got a lot to catch up on with you all. We hope to mend your winter malaise with some hot stove action, wrap about the roster cuts, look forward to a rerun of last year's MLS cup final, and oh so much more.
Are you glad we're back? We hope so, you've got Blue Balls.
Ahoy-hoy Blue Ballers! Welcome back for another week of all things NYCFC. Jake & Trey record live, unintelligible commentary on the Atlanta-Columbus match in fevered anticipation of our two-legged playoff against the winner - who would turn out to be none other than the endangered Columbus Crew, fresh off their bout with us at Citi Field! We recap that bout and that field, discuss what the team looks like with all cylinders firing, take the temperature of the locker room post-match, and talk about what we can expect moving into playoffs season.
Then: More discussion of Anthony Precourt, The Total Piece Of Shit Who Owns The Crew, a little end-season Hot Stove chatter, and of course: PLAYOFF BRACKETS and the two blowout matches that brought both Pink Cows & White Caps into the next round. Take a bathroom break at work and pop this pod on - everyone knows you've got Blue Balls.
It's been a hard few days, blue ballers, but your intrepid cohorsts have returned - as rain or shine, good times and bad, these blue balls keep swinging.
Jake and Trey talk shop on a disappointing 2-1 loss that extends our one-goal-or-less streak to eight matches. Not exactly the form we want to be staring down the barrel of Decision Day facing, but our destiny is still in our hands and Jake & Trey break down some possible scenarios, some horrifying possibilities, and a forecast for the postseason future of this NYCFC squad. Plus: rabid chats on James Sands and the U-17 world cup, anxious speculation on Bruce Arena's ouster and the open manager slot yet to be filled, and of course a Columbus pre-cap that was recorded hours before the Columbus departure leak. See a tailor this weekend - you've got Blue Balls.
(Also the audio is a little messed up hope you don't hate us byeeeee)
A subdued series of salutations to our Blue Ballers. The qualifier hangover is real and it may go on for days yet. Jake and Trey, recording literal minutes after the collapse of American men's soccer on an international stage, are here to talk shop. Marathon rants on the subject of What Happened and What Happens Next, followed by a little MLS shop talk and, yes, somehow, we manage to squeeze some NYCFC in there. Chicago last, New England next, Atlanta nipping at our heels and the threshold in the East all sealed up - it sure looks a lot like endseason. Put some ice on it, amigos. You've got blue balls. #gulatiout
Salutories, blue ballers. We offer you salutations but no solutions as we return to the airwaves with nothing but frustration with our East Hartford Boys In Blue as they leave two crucial points on the table against one of the least threatening sides in MLS. And the hard stuff is just getting started. Trey and Jake precap a scrappy Montreal and a hot Chicago Fire in anticipation of what promises to be a tough battle with the southern menace for the coveted No. 2 seed in the postseason. Plus: high Stakes for Belmont. Don't adjust your dial, adjust your inseam: you've got Blue Balls.
Ahoy there Blue Mateys, welcome back to another raucous fracas of your favorite Harlemites discussing the boys in azul.
We start out Rapidly dismantling the bads and very-bads from this weekend's mile high heartbreak, followed by a rambunctious revisit of the front office's C*nnecticut Compunction. Also, Chanot-go? (PRE-Apol-chanot-gy.) And finally (graciously), we get into the X's and O's of this weekend's displace-a-thon against the Houston (say it right) Dynamo.
L'Shanah Tovah, you've got Blue Balls.
Welcome, blue ballers, to the beautiful advancing tide of ritual death we know as SEPTEMBER. And with that tide of death, what else can you expect but the return of JAKE from the literary prison to which he was banished all those months ago?
The boys are back together and the cock jokes prove it as JAKE and TREY recap the end of the Hudson River Derby, Villa injury concerns, and meticulously evaluate all thirty one stadium location options. Then: a collective gulp and a precap for a midweek SKC confrontation. Either you're just happy to see us, or else you've got Blue Balls.
Hujambo Bluu Mipira, got those hiking boots ready for the long day's journey into... wait how many miles away are we talking about? The homie and resident New Yawker breaks down the "home" game move with Trey, as well as dwelling on the positive covering our recent success. Then... wait, we have to play the R*dbulls again? And is Jake ever going to come back?? Answers to all these and more coming through. Hold on to your Yangels, you've got blue balls.
Buon fine settimana mio Blue Ballers, and thanks for tuning in to yet another raucous episode. With the cryptic blog post of Andrea Pirlo's girlfriend heralding the immanent return of Jake, Trey brings yet another special guest in friend of the pod and podcast veteran Andrew Kaberline.
We navigate a corrupted audio file halfway through, though not ignoring our staple home win against the conglomerate heifers. We also tap into journalistic integrity, "NYCFCFC", and quickly preview our cross country cosmic foe the LA Galaxy. Hold on to your butts, you've got Blue Balls.
Special thanks to Andrew, whose plugs are:
Oh David V., Oh David V.
The Eastern Table's changing
Oh David V., Oh David V.
A Cup would be amazing
With Brillant's head and Lewis' shoes
Our scoring chances are not few
Oh David V., Oh David V.
They're Fire, you were blazing
Please bring all of our injured players new ligaments and bones, our city a new Stadium, TAM, GAM, some Honey Ham,
(Oh, and Pirlo wants a bottle of wine)