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Blue Balls NYCFC
Official Unofficial NYCFC soccer pod
Category: Professional
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by Blue Balls ...
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September 21, 2017 01:11 PM PDT

Ahoy there Blue Mateys, welcome back to another raucous fracas of your favorite Harlemites discussing the boys in azul.

We start out Rapidly dismantling the bads and very-bads from this weekend's mile high heartbreak, followed by a rambunctious revisit of the front office's C*nnecticut Compunction. Also, Chanot-go? (PRE-Apol-chanot-gy.) And finally (graciously), we get into the X's and O's of this weekend's displace-a-thon against the Houston (say it right) Dynamo.

L'Shanah Tovah, you've got Blue Balls.

September 05, 2017 11:04 AM PDT

Welcome, blue ballers, to the beautiful advancing tide of ritual death we know as SEPTEMBER. And with that tide of death, what else can you expect but the return of JAKE from the literary prison to which he was banished all those months ago?

The boys are back together and the cock jokes prove it as JAKE and TREY recap the end of the Hudson River Derby, Villa injury concerns, and meticulously evaluate all thirty one stadium location options. Then: a collective gulp and a precap for a midweek SKC confrontation. Either you're just happy to see us, or else you've got Blue Balls.

August 24, 2017 04:48 PM PDT

Hujambo Bluu Mipira, got those hiking boots ready for the long day's journey into... wait how many miles away are we talking about? The homie and resident New Yawker breaks down the "home" game move with Trey, as well as dwelling on the positive covering our recent success. Then... wait, we have to play the R*dbulls again? And is Jake ever going to come back?? Answers to all these and more coming through. Hold on to your Yangels, you've got blue balls.

August 11, 2017 04:38 PM PDT

Buon fine settimana mio Blue Ballers, and thanks for tuning in to yet another raucous episode. With the cryptic blog post of Andrea Pirlo's girlfriend heralding the immanent return of Jake, Trey brings yet another special guest in friend of the pod and podcast veteran Andrew Kaberline.

We navigate a corrupted audio file halfway through, though not ignoring our staple home win against the conglomerate heifers. We also tap into journalistic integrity, "NYCFCFC", and quickly preview our cross country cosmic foe the LA Galaxy. Hold on to your butts, you've got Blue Balls.

Special thanks to Andrew, whose plugs are:



July 27, 2017 02:19 PM PDT

Oh David V., Oh David V.
The Eastern Table's changing
Oh David V., Oh David V.
A Cup would be amazing

With Brillant's head and Lewis' shoes
Our scoring chances are not few

Oh David V., Oh David V.
They're Fire, you were blazing

Dear Santa,
Please bring all of our injured players new ligaments and bones, our city a new Stadium, TAM, GAM, some Honey Ham,
(Oh, and Pirlo wants a bottle of wine)
-Blue Balls

July 15, 2017 02:50 PM PDT

Bon fin de semais mon blue ball-ettes, but NOT so bon for our boys in bleu. After a disappointing loss to the Canadian Alabaster Triagonals, Trey was still listless and panicky without a cohost with whom to rant. Luckily (Luka-ly) an oh so willing C.M. Brandon from MLSFemale.com (@Lukacharms) swooped in via speaker phone to help co-wallow in despair.

This week we talked the keys to bouncing back, a freezing hot stove, and jump right into the most terrifying stretch of the season by looking up toward the pack leaders: Toronto and Chicago. Sprinkled in was a festive holiday game you can play along with at home while cradling your pup and a gimlet. Don't forget to make it a double, you've got blue balls.

(Special thanks to our guest C.M. Brandon of MLSFemale.com! big smile)

June 27, 2017 01:46 PM PDT

Jambo Smurfballers, your favorite red 100 emoji in podcast form is back in action and down to whiskey business this week with a special guest. Martin Bihl of Last Word on Soccer joins lone baller Trey in an especially long winded and raucous episode harkening back to the podcast's roots. From whispers to riff-raff, loquaciousness to temperance, this chapter really covers all of the bases (har har).

We begin by delving into Martin's inconspicuous and unorthodox journalistic approach, then sift through all of the glorious reasons why the boys in azul took over the sister state while reflecting on what the not-monster-energy-crew could have done right. Then, meaningless mid-season platitudes and the slowest lightning round that ever was before previewing our upcoming clash against the newest and chippy-est expansion team the Great Lakes have ever seen. And yes, like a PATH train ticket line on a Saturday afternoon, this episode is unnecessarily long. Inflate us and bring us to The Rockaways, you've got blue balls.

June 22, 2017 01:27 PM PDT

Lost and alone, and forever afraid bluebrodies and bluegallies.
Trey here, sans Jake (who is trapped in an interdimensional vortex via Pirlo's autobiography), and even the minute being trapped in the top of a tower with nothing but a typewriter that writes these episode descriptions is at Rehoboth Beach with his buddies for the time being. But my loneliness' constant approach has been quelled for the moment when none other than Mike from pod-powerhouse Blue City Radio came to save the day with the fruition of a MEGA-POD.

Jake magically imprinted a prelude from page 65 of his personal hell hole, then Mike and I jump into an extra long ruckus starting with Rivalry Week (tm) media day, and bouncing between our US Open Cup dismay, Supersonic redemption, and the Derby of which we're all secretly very nervous. We even hit Stertzer-ghazi and a fun NBA Draft fact as well. Strap-in, hang tight, and let loose; you've got Blue Balls.
(EXTRA BIG THANKS to the sui generis Mike from Blue City Radio, check them out, and stay tuned in the fyutch for more CityPGL)

June 10, 2017 08:47 AM PDT

Habari, blue ballinkas, and welcome to another week of your favorite NSFW flawed-cast. A fabulous and dramatic result has your boys in top form - plus, the addition of Twitter-Verified Gaby Fucking Kirschner should put a smile on any dedicated blue baller's face.

After a spirited recap of a Philly game she didn't watch, Gaby joins us in earnest to preview the first Hudson River Derby of the season - a Lamar Hunt Open Cup jaunt to Harrison that nobody wants to see happen. We talk about Red Bull woes and Marsch-holes, as well as the ever-increasing depth challenges our team will be reckoning with after the break. We hit some ambiguous talking points, play some ambiguous Senseless Starting XI, and make some unambiguous jokes about animal genitals. Then, a Sounders precap - and a sudden tragedy ensures that Blue Balls may never be the same. After all, what good are your Red Members when you've got Blue Balls?

June 02, 2017 08:18 AM PDT

Buonaserra, blue ballers. Welcome back to another week of nycfc babble. A disappointing week gives us 1 point in 2 games, and Jake and Trey are revved up and ready to break down what happened. Is Alex Callens overrated? Did Patrick Vieira mismanage a one goal lead?

Then: John Lewis, Andrea Pirlo, Yangel Herrera, and a brand new Ring has been forged. Then: Philly in Yankee Stadium this weekend. Spread in the sunshine, amigos - you’ve got Blue Balls.

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