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Blue Balls NYCFC
Official Unofficial NYCFC soccer pod
Category: Professional
Followers (9)
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by Blue Balls ...
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May 03, 2017 04:10 PM PDT

Aloha, blue ballers! Welcome to another week of NYCFC goodness. And WHAT a good week it is, coming off of an unexpected 3-2 victory against a formidable Columbus Crew. Jake and Trey, raised from the dead, chat about the young boys who drove the truck this week - Daddy Yangkee, Jack Flash, and Sweat & Wild. Then, Trey dresses down the Pirlo Party Poopers and we preview Atlanta's arguably scariest offense in the East and hypothesize how to piece them apart in Yankee Stadium. Close your eyes and think about statistics -- you've got Blue Balls.

April 28, 2017 07:46 AM PDT

Trey has the flu and Jake was at work, we're sorry, our dang old team lost for no good reason, we'll see you next week. Love, description troll.

April 20, 2017 05:12 AM PDT

To ball or not to ball, that is hardly the question for you, blue ballers. This week Trey and Jake break down the only thing that matters in any sport anywhere, David Villa's brain-melting 53.5 yard goal against Philadelphia that cemented a 2-1 lead. But then we do talk about other stuff, including the Jack attack that gave us the lead in the first place, an evaluation of the NYCFC rope-a-dope strategy, and of course, a little Pirlo talk to round out the afternoon. Then: Injuries, retirements, and a re-ignited Hot Stove involving a franchise from storylines past. Then the boys make you suffer through some Shakespeare before precapping the return of Orlando City, this time on home turf. Better get a stronger wifi signal fast -- you've got Blue Balls.

April 12, 2017 09:44 AM PDT

Good morning Blue Balls fans! As the springtime breaks and the subway cars start to get sweaty again, I remind you that in the tower prison in which I'm held, I, the gnome creature who writes the ep. descriptions, am in a perpetual January - owing to the high altitude of my bondage.

The air is thin up here, so i have an excuse for the lack of quality in MY work, but what excuse can NYCFC make for a disappointing 2-1 loss to a team they beat 4-0 just weeks before? That's what Trey and Jake break down for us this week. After scouring and scowling, they move on to sunnier climes including Yangel Herrera, Gio Reyna, and a Pan-American World Cup. Then: Philly. Does that Liberty Bell get you excited? Then you've got Blue Balls.

April 05, 2017 07:23 AM PDT

Bon matin les balloneurs bleues! So glad to be on the regular schedule. It's hard for me, the little blue sentient gremlin who writes the episode blurbs, because I am trapped in a cage on top of a tower and only get fed once a week when an ep comes out. And when the boys take a bye week oh you bet the kibble ain't comin'.

This week Trey and Jake rehash a humdinger that took place entirely while Jake was high on nitrous. We review the latest Pirlo oriented speculation and congratulate our number one trading assets - I mean super subs - on some very impressive minutes. Then, Nick Chavez joins the pod to talk RJgate week 3, US Men's, pasta, and a little game inspired by the balladeers of Linkin Park. Finally, a quick precap of the Washington DC 4-0Nited. Stretch don't stress, boys avez BLUE BALLS.

March 30, 2017 02:29 PM PDT

Wilkommen, mein blue ballers! Wilkommen BACK from a seemingly-endless bye week. Trey and Jake are back as well, with a cursory review of a disappointing draw against Impact at home. Once we've closed the door on that, we nail down some hard answers on: Callens last name, Klinsmann's legacy in the USMNT, RJGate 2017, and hotties w/ bodies. Don’t get on our case about the Panama match, we recorded this sucker beforehand.

Grip, sip, nip, drip, slip, and rip -- you've got Blue Balls.

March 15, 2017 05:58 AM PDT

In the soccer podcast system, sexually based puns are considered especially heinous. In New York City, the dedicated soccer fans who investigate these eyerollable dad jokes are members of an elite squad known as Blue Ballers. This is their podcast.


Trey and Jake welcome Official Pod Lawyer RYAN DYKHOUSE to the 'cast to talk about all things, legal and ill-, in NYCFC's criminally massive 4-0 destruction of DC United in the home opener last weekend. Then: a dumb game about referees, the judges, juries and executioners of the soccer system, a poignant and restrained deconstruction of racism in the stands and/or the legal merits of punching nazis, and a lightning-fast preview of a Montreal that somehow both looks very different and very similar to the Montreals we've seen before. Consult your doctor if your condition lasts for four goals or more -- you might have Blue Balls.

March 08, 2017 10:47 AM PST

Salutations, Blue Balldiners — and welcome to Episode 2 of Blue Balls. Jake dipped out this week, with plenty of advance notice and an absolutely responsible attitude towards the welfare of the podcast, so Trey has overcompensated by cohosting with not one but TWO American soccer geniuses - PerpStu, aka @_ChrisFC, aka Chris, and Gaby Kirschner.

In part one, Chris and Trey dissect the game against Orlando including Pirlo debates, offensive concerns, and tamped expectations. Then Trey follows up a hit with a hit by talking Red Bulls and NYCFC strategy, and general MLS first-weekend chatter. And does Mix make a surprise appearance during podcast halftime?

No. He doesn't. Elevate your feet and put some ice on it - you’ve got Blue Balls.

Trey @TreyFillmore & /u/BeatsByTre

Gaby @gabykirschner

Chris @_ChrisFC & /u/perpetualstudent

Jake @jakebecknation AS IF YOU CARED

The Boys @BlueBallsPod

March 03, 2017 06:34 AM PST

The long nightmare of preseason is over, blue ballerinos, and for the third straight inaugural year, your intrepid cohorsts Trey and Jake are (p)reviewing everything NYCFC! It's been a DIZZYING offseason and we have a lot to cover, so we drafted Chris P. (@NYCFCFan) to play our traditional season-opener round of Over/Under -- and we keep the receipts.

Then: Mixspiracy theories recorded before the buyout, City Postgame Live inside baseball, and some of the hottest takes this side of Death Valley. Kiss your lonely days goodbye - the season's starting, and you've got Blue Balls.

Chris @NYCFCFan & @NYCFCNation for hot takes

Trey @TreyFillmore for new beatz

Jake @jakebecknation for terrible campari drinks

@CityPGL for podcast luminaries every away match

Rob @RobertMDownes for new logos LIKE OURS

February 28, 2017 04:41 PM PST
itunes pic

The long nightmare of preseason is over, blue ballerinos, and for the third straight inaugural year, your intrepid cohorsts Trey and Jake are (p)reviewing everything NYCFC!

It's been a DIZZYING offseason and we have a lot to cover, so we drafted Chris P. (@NYCFCFan) to join us in reviewing five preseason matches and a slew of new signings. We hit all your favorites and tell you all the reasons why you're wrong and they're overrated. We talk about who's on the rising stock and who's on the chopping block. And we talk about Sam Dunn's butt.

It's been a lonely lonely lonely lonely lonely time -- but at least now you've got Blue Balls.

Chris @NYCFCFan & @NYCFCNation for hot takes

Trey @TreyFillmore for new beatz

Jake @jakebecknation for terrible campari drinks

@CityPGL for podcast luminaries every away match

Rob @RobertMDownes for new logos LIKE OURS

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