Or "in which our heroes refuse to forget that until recently we had won three games in five months of play."
Welcome back to hog heaven, Blue Ballers, as NYCFC reclaims their rightful mantle as scariest team in the east, taking 7 points in 7 days and only by the capriciousness of God losing out on those final two agains Orlando. Or, maybe not.
Jake and Trey resolve to review all three matches by basically reviewing none of them and talking about how to pronounce Héber’s name until a solvent offensive strategy finally materializes. Talk about Maxi, the missing Keaton sparks, Ofori’s O-Phoenix-esque sophomore year, and some other stuff. Then: talking points and a Montreal precap. Squeeze those knees and don’t say please: you’ve got Blue Balls.
Happy Easter and a Solemn & Reflectful Passover, Blue Ballers, and welcome to a true blitz week of NYCFC. Trey and Jake have a diner dash mini ep for you today recorded at neighborhood watering hole DADDY-O - where we broke down Minnesota, Shradi, Maxi’s return and the ongoing Dome Outroversy. Then Trey pontificates about champions league and Jake says some totally uninformed bullshit about soccer journalism. Plus a three-game precap for the long week ahead. Lace up your shoes right - you’ve got Blue Balls.
Venmo Vidi Vici, blue ballers and welcome to another week. Jake and Trey are back on mic, hoping against hope that a podcast bye-week would be just the thing to solve NYCFC’s maple woes. It was not. Recaps of Montreal and briefly Toronto, a series of full breakdowns, both mental and coaching, and a scary thought: what does it take to kill NYCFC? Then: grim prognostications for Grimnesota United. Don’t tuck and run - you’ve got Blue Balls.
Aloha BBers, and welcome to a bye week sigh week edition of Blue Balls. Recap of the LAFC game yields mixed results, with just as much to grin about as gripe about - including, but not limited to, a sweet Treat of a goal to open Mitrita’s account for NYCFC.
Then: Jake and Trey start to get bullish on Heber and talk the various analyses of the newly-signed Brazilian the FO seems hype to plug into the offense. Plus, the Yankees president tickles our Blue Balls with some stadium talk, and finally a precap summation of a Toronto match decimated by callups. Tell your friends and loved ones to stay out of your way - you’ve got Blue Balls.
Bing bong, doors closing on this week’s episode of Blue Balls! Jake and Trey are back on their Sean John Jane, breaking down either a hard-won clean-sheet draw or a total fucking one-point catastrophe, depending on who you ask. We examine the empty offense and talk about the experiments Dome might bring to bear in the coming weeks. We precap! We recap! We DE-cap! Truly what more could you ask for. Plus: the USWNT sues US Soccer, and Claudio Reyna tickles the Blue Balls with a repurposing of the same old stale ass stadium talk we’ve heard. Stretch before you plug in - you’ve got Blue Balls.
Shake and bake, blue ballers. We’re back with the only extant nycfc podcast, breaking down the Pigeons’ sputtering start to their historic inaugural 5th season. Jake and Trey talk first outings for Treats & Keats, as well as the emergence of Ofori as a potential key 2019 factor and the arrival of a Jon Lewis who may even, can you believe it, get actual meaningful minutes on the field this season. But the tinkering is far from over and our two intrepid cohorsts do everything they can to get into the dome of Domé.
Then: nazis and she believes, Garber and Ellis, and some light shitposting. Plus a lump-in-the-throat preview of DC’s upcoming visit to Yankee Stadium. Lock the bathroom door behind you — you’ve got Blue Balls.
Welcome, blue-balls-to-the-wallers, to the SEASON FIVE PREMIERE that nobody saw coming. That's right, despite all odds and massive popular resistance, Blue Balls is back for another barely-professional flirtation with serious soccer journalism in the guise of dick jokes. Jake and Trey kick the season off, as they always do, with a hard-hitting round of OVER/UNDER. Follow along with your own over/under stats sheet this season and tweet us your results at the end to win absolutely nothing.
PLUS: in-depth analysis of the bearish predictions market for NYCFC's fifth season on the field, a breakdown of offseason action and acquisitions, and some senseless starting eleven chatter. Your blue ballers for life will be with you every step of the way this Season Five - starting NOW. Don't stand up too fast: you've got Blue Balls.
Awaken from your slumber Blue Balligans, and jump on in to this mini-ep season fore(pointfive)play with the analytic critic Dummy Run. Trey holds his iphone to the mic to get Dummy's thoughts on statistical analysis in footy, why Dome is better than you think, a look ahead to the boys in blue, and introduces his new NYCFC blog The Outfield.
We'll be back this week (yes this week!) with all things Blue Balls, but until then be sure to read up at theoutfield.org as well as following @thedummyrun and @outfieldnycfc on twitter.
Did ya miss us you big lovable buffoons? Now you've got Blue Balls.
Happy New Year Blue Ball Drop-ers, and thanks for coming back to our last episode of season four. We begin the year by looking back, checking in on our world famous pre-season segment over/under and a new game that reveals where the heroes of NYCFC's historic first season are now. Of course, we set our resolutions for the future, chat Nazi's for the umpteenth, and boring MLS twitter. As our season ends our thanks go out to the team for continuing to host our meager podcast on game days, the players who have served the team well, our pubs for the companionship, the podluminatti, and most of all YOU for sticking around with us for four years. See you all in a few weeks for the preseason and have a happy 2019 blue ballers and ballerinas!
Greetings and warm wishes in the cold winter of our despair, Blue Ballers. At the conclusion of our Senior Year Campaign, for yet another season, our playoff hopes have been ignominiously dashed. Hold off on season retrospectives - we’ve got plenty of that coming down the pipeline - for now we want to talk about Atlanta, Dome, Villa, Berhalter and something the stans refer to as “Preath.” It’s a messy little monster of a show for the messy little monster that was the 2018 Pigeons, now mercilessly returned to their nests. Plus: a little nazi talk, a little inside podluminati baseball, and the Talking Points Theme Song. Slip on your loosest long johns - you’ve got Blue Balls.