Charmante a rendez-vous, blue ballons! Welcome back to the top of the league as NYCFC reclaim their rightful place as Top Team Not To Fuck With. Trey and Jake recap in the dead of the sudden summer the CRACKERJACK 3-1 victory that brought David Villa his 400th and 401st career goals - and the addition of a brand new word to his English arsenal (no pun intended) - milestone!
THEN: Trey and Jake scramble for talking points and cover a whole slew of bullshit before pivoting into the pre-derby deep dive into the Team from New Jersey - anticipating what will surely be a Dead Reds Revolution if the boys and blue can pull it off. Better find a softer seat on the PATH - you've got Blue Balls.
Cheers and condolences blue ballers. It is with great regret that we commemorate the end to NYCFC's best ever unbeaten streak and best-ever start to the season, ended abruptly, unexpectedly, and brutally by a fiercer-than-anticipated counterpunching Portland machine. Trey and Jake break bread at a diner while they break down the breakdown. Then: international competitions, international politics, and interminable merchandising chatter. And; Dallas. Rock em, sock em, wash em, repeat: you've got Blue Balls.
Andiame, blue ballers, and welcome to the ever-extending unbeaten streak which is the NYCFC 2018 season. Two big matches in the book mean two big recaps in the booth. First, the 4-0 blowout that defanged Petke's stumbling Real Salt Lake -- then, the matchup of the season so far produces a nail-biting 2-2 draw against Atlanta United in the Georgian Coliseum that is Mercedes-Benz Stadium.
Speaking of stadiums, no small chatter on the newest and arguably most real rumor mill yet of a stadium in the boroughs - this one in the south Bronx nested in a Harlem River Yards development project. It's... happening?? Find out what Trey and Jake think and drink on the subject and more. It's practically summer, and what better time to air 'em out -- you've got Blue Balls.
Ahoy hoy mes ballers bleus and welcome to another week of your favorite dysfunctional blue brodies. I, Trey, finally get to write a blurb and am brunch drunk so I would like to say, did you see that new Drake video? Olivia Wilde? Issa Rae? Misty Copeland? Rashida Jones? Tiffany Haddish looking like a snack? Emma RoBERTS? Oy Gevalt.
Anyways, we re-cap a thrilling San Jose Away Day, chat injuries and special Z's. (Zlatans, duh.) And finally, we pre-cap a fiesty Salt Lake and parse out our odds at keeping this undefeated streak alive.
Keep your friends close and enemies across the river, you've got blue balls.
Pop n lock, Blue Ballers, and welcome back for another week of ballboy madness. Trey and Jake break down the first draw of the season against New England, who somehow became the first opponent of 2018 that actually managed to watch some game tape and pursue the one obvious strategy we've never been able to handle for a full 90. Press or no press, we talk not just shrad-y goals but the shrad-est, life without the Ringmaster and the Rodfather, and the baffling managerial reluctance to use two subs in a wide open game against an inferior team. Just one man's opinion. Then: NWSL opening weekend, USMNT young gun appraisal, your weekly dose of john lewis-peculation, and a precap of a match against the potentially seismic Quakes. Shuffle those truffles - you've got Blue Balls.
Welcome Blue Ballers! In part 2 of this week's ep: USMNT intrigue! And a deep dive into the politics and the ball-itics of NWSL's upcoming sixth season, which opens for business this weekend - in which Trey finally picks a league team to root for. And then: just a little New England precap - gotta spend SOME time with the boys in blue. shouts to code name "Spirolateral" who singlehandedly lifted us out of poverty and into podcasting affluence with his generous donation. If you want to challenge him as our MVP (most valuable papa) mosey on over to cash.me/$blueballs and drop a sous or two in the tip jar! Is that burning sensation the acid bile of a Houston Dash without Christen Press? No, man, you've just got Blue Balls.
Pomp and circumstance, Blue Ballers! Your rude boys are back in the ballin' business, and let me tell you, business-is-a-boomin'. Jake & Trey jump on the horn to lustily recap which confirmed what we already know: NYCFC is this year's unstoppable force, without an immovable object in sight. We unpack how we deconstructed Orlando for a second clean sheet and a third three points in three games, including the notable absence of striker and captain extraordinaire David Villa - plus a fair and honest assessment of newcomers Izzy T-S and Saad A-S in their offensive and defensive roles, respectively. Also, Concacaf Champions rules! Tighten your scarves and hold onto your butts: you've got Blue Balls.
Welcome back, Blue Ballers. After an uncannily lost episode, an event which never happens and which in no way is holding back the show, your favorite ball boys are finally ready to start season four RIGHT. We recap an enervating 2-1 victory at home over LA Galaxy, the redemption of a much-maligned new DP-na, the emergence of a new Scandinavian superstar, and everything on our wish list for the 2018 season. Jake and Trey break down the new boys, the old boys, and one conspicuously missing boy.
Then: all over MLS. La Liga partnerships. Concacaf Champions. A little USWNT recap. Some nasty talk with a short round of F/M/K. And, of course, a precap of the latest showdown with former gaffer Jason Kreis. Buckle that seatbelt and ride it high - you've got Blue Balls.
And just like that, MLS is back baby! No more slumming with the Champions League, no more Silly Season, just pure unadulterated American-ass soccer. And with the advent of spring, so come our Boys In Blue. Jake & Trey are hot on their heels with the annual over/under extravaganza and a precap of opening day's matchup against Sporting KFC. Will Medina swing a double-double? Will Patrick Vieira break his season ejection record? Will we ever keep a consistent release schedule? All these questions and your Twitter Qs are on the table, here on the victorious senior season of Blue Balls!
Like a friggin zombie dragon rising from an icy lake, your Boys In Blue return in the dead of winter for one last off-schedule preseason update. Trey and Jake are hot on the heels of an incredibly meaningless preseason series of games which have given absolutely nobody any useful information, with the hopeful exception of the Gaffer Himself, Patty Vi-Ergonomic Chair-a. We talk Medina, Haak-avani, Tinnerholm, and the probable Starting XI we saw match up against an equally-messy Montreal Impact for a 2-2 draw.
Then: a couple talking points, the professional retirement of Inaugural Mainstay Chris Wingert, and the ever-present question: who will score a friggin dang old goal when David Villa departs this team, perhaps this game, but never our hearts? Rock 'em or sock 'em, you've got Blue Balls.